9 Things You Want For Christmas If Your Period’s In Town
If you’re one of the unlucky ones whose period is joining you and the family for this year’s festivities, here are nine gifts you need to put on your Christmas list, pronto…
1. All the cosy knitwear in existence on the high street, because you can never be too cosy on your period. NEVER.
2. A chocolate fountain, obviously.
3. An entire kit of super luxe make-up that’s so eye-wateringly expensive you can’t justify buying it for yourself. If a girl’s gotta cover those hormonal break-outs at Christmas, she deserves to do it like Beyonce.
4. Access to ALL the Christmas food. If your family members value their lives they’ll step away from the cheese, mince pies, roast potatoes and pigs in blankets and let you do your thing.
5. A new pair of Christmas pjs because THIS is the face we’ll be pulling if someone asks us to get dressed when our uterus is leaking.
6. A voucher from our sister/brother/mother/Kendall Jenner (we really don’t care who) for an hour long foot massage. That’s one hour per foot, in case you were wondering.
7. A Disney chest. If you don’t know what this is, it’s basically all your childhood dreams come true and the best bad mood cure ever.
8. A silk hanky. Watching movies about love, opening presents you really want, opening presents you really don’t want, being rejected by your cat, literally anything to do with old people – there are so many things that tip you over the edge at Christmas, it’s only fair you wipe away your tears in style.
9. Forget the usual soak in the bath when your cramps come on. Heck, we don’t even want a bath. We’re going full-blown pamper party and asking for a hot tub complete with champagne and a butler (in the buff) built outside in a lush garden lined with pine trees and sprinkled with snow. That’s do-able, right?