30 THOUGHTS EVERY WOMAN HAS IN A PUBLIC LOO
It happens to us all, several times a day. Whether you’re at work, out shopping or just “out out” there are some thoughts we’re all guilty of when hitting the ladies’.
1. It always feels so strange going to the toilet on my own, who am I going to talk to while I *go*?!
2. Oh no, there’s a queue. Did everyone suddenly decide they needed to go at the same time? I wonder if our bodies are in sync. That’s definitely a thing.
3. Hang on, why do the men’s toilets never have queues?
4. Why don’t men go to the toilet in pairs? They must get so bored.
5. Hooray, I’ve moved three inches closer to the front!
6. Never mind the wait, this is valuable mirror time to check my… OHMYGOD what happened to face in the hour since I last applied my make-up.
7. This lighting is terrible.
8. This lighting is AMAZING, I’m going to take a selfie.
9. Thank the Lord (and all those clever app peeps) for filters.
10. HOORAY a loo is free #winning.
11. Umm, I’m not going to go through *that* doorway to hell, even if you pay me.
12. Finally, a free loo. Right, squeezes in, removes coat, finds somewhere to place handbag, removes clothes. Aaah.
13. No toilet paper. Ooh I have some tissues in my bag. Totally turning into my mum. Hey, at least it wasn’t tucked up my sleeve.
14. Uh-oh. So *that’s* why I’ve been in a bad mood all day, am bloated, craving a kilo of chocolate and have a new spotty friend on my face. Hello, monthly visitor you absolute beast.
15. I love my period I love my period I love my period I love my period.
16. Everyone can hear my wrapper. Could I BE any noisier?
17. Okay, that noise was my bag moving across the floor but it definitely sounded like something else and now HOW CAN I LEAVE, EVERYONE WILL KNOW IT WAS ME.
18. Now I’ve been in here for ages. I’ll just say I’m wearing a jumpsuit, they’ll understand. Under my clearly visible jeans and jumper. FML. I’ll do my coat up, they’ll never know.
19. Umm did the toggle of my coat just dangle where I think it did? Oops.
20. Why do I feel like I can’t make eye contact with the queue?
21. How do you work these taps?
22. Oh, that’s how *wipes down self*
23. Where is the soap?
24. Where is the dryer?
25. *Looks in mirror* *gives up*
26. I might just buy a couple of spare tampons from this machine.
27. Except now the whole queue is going to think I’m buying condoms *cringe*.
28. Maybe I should buy some condoms.
29. Ooh the lighting in this corner is perfect for another selfie.
30. I bet everyone in here is having the exact same thoughts. We really shouldn’t be embarrassed. We’re all in this together… own it, ladies, own it. *Smiles at queue*.