12 things you’ve definitely done while on your period
Guilty of any of these during your period week? We certainly are…
1. Bought the ingredients for a leafy stir-fry on the way home from work. Got home, slumped on sofa and ordered a large, stuffed-crust pizza complete with several pretty beige sides. Oops.
2. Been to visit a friend just so you could sit and stroke their new cat or puppy because you need all the soft, fluffy love and affection.
3. Cried at an NSPCC advert. Or an RSPCA advert. Or a Save The Children advert. OK, you cried at all the adverts. Sob.
4. Sulked because your Sky planner didn’t record the last episode of Broadchurch and you have no idea why and OMG you need to watch Broadchurch right now. So you rung Sky and shouted at a random member of call centre staff somewhere in the Midlands and ruined their evening.
5. Walked to Tesco Express in your pyjamas, gym trainers and smart coat in the pouring rain just to buy a family size bar of Dairy Milk, a share bag of Doritos and a carton of Ribena.
6. Cried a bit more. Maybe in the bath. In the dark. While listening to Ed Sheeran.
7. Taken your gym bag to work because ‘gentle’ exercise is supposed to ease period pain, right? And then purposely abandoned said gym bag in favour of wine and Netflix for one.
8. Walked around with a hot water bottle just poking out of your trousers and not giving a monkey who sees you, because, ouch.
9. Dropped a pound on the floor during rush hour, then cried again because you can’t find the sodding pound and is that person staring at you with pure hatred in their eyes?
10. Hidden a tampon up your sleeve or in the waistband of your trousers on the way to the toilet because just IMAGINE if someone in your office realised you menstruate. The horror.
11. Wondered if you should realistically go and see your GP over the sudden outburst of acne on your face. Like, this is worse than teenage acne surely? Maybe you have some awful tropical disease, maybe.
12. Stood next to a mirror in your underwear and laughed/cried at how pregnant you look thanks to period-bloat. Eff you, body.